MCoG

so ive started downloading the mysterious cities of gold series...something which all of my friends in loughborough denied existence of.

They have never heard of it, so as thus in all logic, well drunken student logic..because i was in the minority, it didn't exist. Now this is very advanced philisophical theory in my eyes, the idea of if you cant prove the existence of something then it doesnt exist. Interesting...


Well freaking dull tbh


But yes MCoG is amazing, apart from the bad dubbing and piss poor acting and story line which doesnt seem to fit yet...and everything..it is awesome..ish

But again i find myself rambling about kids TV shows..but at least this one is believable...bloody talking trains

Uppity fat men...i ask you?

and it was a question..

Nothign of worth to say now...but did i ever have anything of worth to say...polls say no.

Coming soon to ITV3 after the hit of Scumm and Riffraph on ITV1 comes the new cop show from the capital..pot and noodle.

Two cops from different ends of the city, D.I Noodle the reckless rebel cop who doesn't always follow the rules, D.C Pot, the uderling straight edge (despite his muchacho moustache) who was assigned to keep D.I Noodle in check...or as much as he can.

Both of them were thrown out of their constituancy stations, Noodle because he broke the coffee machine in a instant potted snack related incident, and Pot because people thought he was too boring as he always ate instant potted snack foods.


Snapped up by special branch as no one else would take them they now work to uncover mystery, crime and corruption in the potted snack industry.


I thank rob for the inspiration for this.

fingers

I have none


Thanks to jordan on guitar hero 2 on expert...i cant complete the bugger but i have used an entire tube of deep heat...

Im sore

Anyhoo, imback at university now so i guess this may become a more frequent affair, although i somehow doubt it, im a lazy bugger u know.

Ok thats twice ive said bugger (thrice).

So something to talk about today well seeing as all I have to mention about guitar hero 2 was jordan, then i dunno what to say now!

Bannanas, my roomate just bought some and left them on the window ledge...now the first thing i notice is that the bunch in question (Thats right im interrogating it) looks like two hands one on top of the other, as if one bannana fingered dead guy was jelping a bannana fingered woman make a clay pot on a potting wheel...they couldt do it anyway they havent got the dexterity in their fleshy innards, f*cking bannana fingered people...

Secondly im tempted to draw faces on them and then suspend them around the room, much like weirdly omnipitent yellow gods...

Or bannanas on string with faces.

What else could you draw faces on and have fun with??

Eggs, Oranges, Individual pieces of macaroni, leaves on trees, your eyes and of course the corpse of Johnny walker.

So go into the world with a sharpie or other suitable permanent marker and scribble on surfaces where a face would provide humour and distract a chav long enough for you to disguise yourself as the front of a co-op...

they'l never see you but may hang out in front of you

Nanna

Oh my gentle jesus

You have to listen to the Ross and terri shows from the australian radio show triple j.

It's more Ross noble than you should ever try and endure. He is hilarious and just drives the woman he works with mental, because when she is trying to play a music he just keeps on talking..and he keeps on saying plums in reference to his balls playing the role of wrecking balls in the front of a pair of his shorts, which he was giving away.

Anyway the reason i mention it is they have produced a template slash kit, for creating nanna a full size nanna and I want one. So i have downloaded her and now all i need is a full colour cartridge (yes it takes a full colour cartridge to make) and some card. And interesting places to put her.

And now the list begins,

Behind my ironing board doing my ironing for me,
In my bedroom looking out my window keeping an eye on fellow students,
in trees
In the pub with me, more than likely the students union for me to stand at the bar with
in general pictures with me on my travels so i can look happy with my nanna
in cars with me in some sort of weird drive by situations
on stage when i do open mike
on stage when i do any sort of performance
in my bed
in my cupboard
Maybe ill find some more cutouts and have parties with them

Many other places would also be utilised. I just realised how bizare it is listening to old radio shows, mainly because these things have happened and I am listening to dead words, dead hollow husks of words.

The evil necromancer of words has once again decided it is worth raising these words from the grave, zombie words...the evil words which run rampant across this world devouring the brains of dictionaries and english students...

Don't cross the vampire words though they will suck the life out of your words either draining them and turning them into lines _________ like so, no longer will they stand proud but just limp like lettuce or turn them into vampire words themselves.

Ok mind unravelled so soon.

well about halfway through...

or maybe near the end.

I dont think i can carry on much more with this post.

cats and cabbage

Ok well the title has nothing to do with this blog at all.

Actually i don't think anything will have anything to do with a blog at all.

For this blog is to do with the concept of how we remember things that happened when we were drunk. This started with me and my friend rob telling people at the pub how we once scared the poop out of someone on the common...

Ok a little explenation here I feel. We were very drunk and walking back home from one of our faviourite pubs and walked across the park, only because we thought, lets get sticks and beat up rapists. Anyway someone started running towards us at one point so our first reaction was to hide in a bush, when he was near us he saw us and so we approached him with sticks, he bricked it, but calmed when he realised it was someone he knew. Which is bizzare enough if you ask me, (I think you did). Anyway when telling this story it went through three or four incarnations, with varying degrees of sanity

At one point he was running, then he was on a bike then he was running whilst a baboon played around on some turntables in the bushes creating a sort of "oooohuhooohuhoooohuhooohuh" sound as he kind of half ran half cycled towards us. (this is something that came out of being with three people who are extremely similar, and one person making that noise prompts another to comment "So he was punching a baboon in the face?" Another to state "No obviouslty the baboon was playing on the turntables in the bushes" which leads to an evening and everytime we meet to do the impression of said baboon)

Now later i realise this is completely wrong. What actually happened was we were poking a bike that was left on the floor, thinking ooh someone was dragged off here, then realising it was dumped cos the chain was rusted, wehn this chap came running up the path and stopped to ask who the hell we were. And thats it.

Somehow this became the adventure of a lifetime. Well it was, I mean how often so you think to yourself, "lets go kill rapists on a dodgy park". It was bizzare

Oh yeh feel I should mention....I have no idea what the hell that word at the beginning of my last blog is..... botu!?!?!? I can't even unscramble what it was supposed to be countdown stylee. I should invite Suzie Dent from dictionary corner round....

Oh yeh she can look at the word too if she wants, but thats not why shes got an open invite!



I want to play scrabble with her





in my pants

camel horse cross

botu So my question is,

Can a horse be crossed with a camel..If so...then behold

The Shetland camel. A small hairy humped beast! The concept dreamed up many man years ago, about 7 in fact. But the image of the small spitting horse thing follows me round day to day. Sometimes using racial slurs against me.

And now apparently he can talk. A lot of my ideas can talk surreptitiously, I don't try to understand it, but I will try. I think I stems back to my childhood, where in cartoons usually inanimate or animal objects and beings talked. Jimbo and the jetsets, for example, is about planes that can talk, Tugs about well as the name suggests, was about tugs that could talk and Thomas the tank engine, thanks to some crackhead priest, was about talking trains!

CITV recently sent enforcers round and physically removed my CITV privalges.

But I think you get the idea of why a lot of peoples cartoons contain talking 'things'. But as some people may say this is not always a bad thing. But i disagree...think about it, how freaky is a talking train? If one pulled into loughborough station talking to an uppity fat man, I would scream witch and set it on fire, the train and the fat man! It's just not right. But now think about the next generation of entertainers, comic creators and mental inventors.

Think of their childhood influences, teletubbies for example are gonna mean that instead of 'talking' cakes we are now going to have 'nonsenseical babbling pink goo toast eating' cakes, or camels.

With televisions in their stomach.

Wait do you think the teletubbies often try and get the "special" pay-per view channels on those belly tellies? I mean some of those ariels look pretty specialist I rekon they get german sattelite on that s*it...and they have the best pron...

ok now im rambling

Cakes

And another thing why cant cakes be the subject of comics.



Yes yes yes, I have started the completely irregular comic drawing habit. It's fun, especially when youre tools are MSpaint and a laptop touch pad mouse thingy....what the hell are those things called anyway....

I mean we always knew the old style thing was a nipple / clit mouse, but this new fangled technology doesn't give way to any falic computer based hilarity. I suppose it could be a....or....

No Sod it it's just not funny....

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Cakes, and comics. So i created a character Brian the cake (if you know me i have probably sent this to you via MSN at some point) he is a cake who can walk and talk, and has a penis for an arm on his left side, (it was an unfortunate accident involving one burnt arm and his slightly drunk baker bob)

But im womdering if it would ever be wise to publish this sort of thing and attempt to make a bit of money doing it, I was sondering is there a set way of starting a webcomic, and is a cake a viable topic, and is paint just too crap to use to publish with...




OK, This is weird im testing out Live messenger (I finally succambe to calling it Live not MSN) on my mobile phone (it's free apparently) and in the list of what 3 have called their "Top Stuff" there is what I can only refer to as a doozy of a title. Right at the bottom of the page there is a link called "xxx lesbian"

Finally Three have caputered the niche market of mobile phone using lesbians. Brilliant! Or it's for men who like lesbians...who knows who knows....

Hah Ive just realised if this blog is ever found it will probably be because someone is googling for lesbians!

And now im famous for being that dude who wrote xxx lesbians in his blog completely innocently, but he wasnt the first one, he was actually a cheap copy (allbeit unknowingly) of Johnny "xxx lesbians" "unfortunate-middlenames" Smith. His parents hated him from birth, apparently they were wishing to have a magpie to steal shiny objects for their ever growing evil empire of shiny things, why evil, just imagine the amount of people they could annoy by putting big blue or red spots in their feild of vision!